Where You Can Be One Year From Now
One year ago, at about this time, I was finalizing my divorce at great expense, and it was worth every penny. What has happened over this past year in my life has been nothing short of transformative. I barely recognize myself. In that relatively short time, I’ve started this website and written about 50 posts for it. I have lost about 15 pounds, and gained some solid muscle. I’ve run two 5Ks which I had never run any before this year, and now I am training for a Spartan Race. I also moved to a much better spot for myself and the family. We are more connected with nature here in the mountains and the animals too are much better for the move.
I remember my lawyer and my private investigator, who has become a good friend, both warned me that this whole process would change me. They were right. I just didn’t expect that change to be a positive one. So how did so much good come out of such a terrible event?
First and most importantly, I don’t look back in anger. I did for a while, but there is nothing to be gained from being angry and cynical forever. If you are going through this process or recently went through it, you should understand that it is perfectly normal to be angry at the system or your ex, but eventually you need to find a way to get past these feelings. I found the gym to be essential in venting my anger and frustration. I have used it as a constructive outlet in keeping myself in shape and growing stronger as a result. As for my mind, I have taken up writing as many of you can see. It started out with journals, but has led to the creation of this website and has been instrumental in keeping my sanity. If you do nothing else, start writing. And this goes for people who want to simply improve their situation; not just people struggling through a divorce or a broken relationship.
Distance yourself from toxic people. Even if this means family or childhood friends. Sometimes you simply outgrow an old relationship or maybe that person has made poor choices in their own life. The collateral damage from someone who is on the way to rock bottom can be catastrophic. These are the people who will distract you from your meaningful goals in life or drag you into destructive habits. Even just meeting the guys for a few beers at the bar can be a huge waste of your time and energy. Now, moderation in all things, including moderation. But all the same, if you need to lose weight, drinking ten beers a week is adding about 2,000 calories to your weekly diet. Not to mention the time that could be spent hitting the gym or working on a side project.
Along with toxic people, you need to rid yourself of any toxic habits. Such as smoking, drinking, eating processed junk food. These things that are so common among the average people in the Western world and they contribute to keeping them exactly that: average. If the media and culture are pushing it on the population, it is making companies rich and often making people sick. Think critically and rid yourself of what no longer serves you. Surround yourself with positive people who have meaning in their life. Find you own purpose and use that purpose as fuel to direct your life in a positive direction. Eat real food, not toxic processed junk laden with chemicals and watch your energy levels climb. With a better diet, it will become easier to hit the gym and be active. All of this makes you feel better, stronger and healthier. This makes it easier to accomplish your goals. Replace your negative habits that are holding you back with more beneficial habits that can aid you in your life.
Instead of spending your nights angry at the mainstream media or mindlessly consuming entertainment, start reading books before bed. Or grab yourself a journal and write down your thoughts and track your progress. The more you write, the more you will learn about yourself and this path to self-discovery will give you great insight into what you want out of life and whether you are on track or not.
Do you regularly go to fast food when you are in a hurry? This is holding you back too. Don’t be lazy. Get yourself a banana or a cliff bar when you are crunched for time. In all likelihood, you have other things in your life that are taking up time that could be better used to cook a natural and healthier meal. If you don’t have time to cook a decent meal, you need to rethink your priorities.
Your life needs purpose. Everything you do should be helping you on your mission and driving your closer to your goal. This life is full of distractions as many thinktanks and psychologists are aiding corporations in trying to turn you into an unfulfilled and mindless consumer. Fight back. Don’t let them turn you into another lemming lost in the crowd and become something extraordinary. Become a driven and disciplined warrior on your own adventure. This life is whatever you make of it and if you let it, it will beat you down and chew you up. Or you can grit your teeth, fight back and make a stand. Be resilient and crush all weakness out of your body. You must have a purpose though. Because there will be days when you won’t want to get out of bed, or you will want to splurge on an oversized soda and just binge watch Netflix all day. Fight the resistance to be average. Be awesome instead. Remember your mantra and stick to your goals. In a year you will look back and be grateful that you were so driven and so disciplined. Anyone can be a mindless consumer,
The point being that, given some discipline and patience, it is amazing what one can do over the course of a year. It may seem like a long time now, but when you think back to a year ago, it doesn’t seem that long ago. In the course of a year, you can change your life. The question remains: will you be better for it?